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If you're wondering, "Do I have to do the garter toss at my wedding?" or "Can I wear a garter without doing the garter toss?" you're not alone. These are some of the most common questions I get from brides.
After working in the wedding industry for over 20 years and personally helping thousands of brides here at The Garter Girl, I can confidently say: no, you don't have to do anything at your wedding that doesn't feel right to you.
I love to give out wedding planning tips and advice (and some life advice too!!) and I’m sharing everything you need to know about the wedding garter toss tradition. I'm talking about what it really means, and why you can absolutely wear a wedding garter without ever tossing it.
I know it seems counter productive to what I do here at The Garter Girl, but my only goal is for you to be happy - and stress-free - on your wedding day. So, I am also sharing some non-traditional garter ideas for modern brides (thats you!), meaningful alternatives to the garter toss (yes, there are plenty!), and how to make sure your wedding truly reflects who you are.
My hope is to share with you some helpful with stress-free wedding advice and personalized insight you won’t find anywhere else.
The wedding garter toss is a tradition that dates back centuries. Traditionally, the groom would remove the bride's wedding garter in front of guests and toss it to the crowd, often as a playful or symbolic gesture.
It was once believed to bring good luck to whoever caught it, much like the bouquet toss.
For the full wedding garter history, you might love this article I wrote.
But let’s be honest: we've moved on from the Middle Ages, and wedding traditions aren’t one-size-fits-all. And just because it’s been done for generations doesn’t mean it’s something every bride should feel obligated to do today.
Many brides today are moving away from the wedding garter toss tradition, choosing instead to celebrate in ways that feel more authentic, comfortable, and stylish.
And that’s exactly what I love to support — helping brides feel confident in doing what feels right for them.
Before we go any further, I should probably clarify something. Wearing wedding garter and doing the garter toss at your wedding reception are two different things. They are not mutually exclusive and you can do one without the other. Well, you might have harder time tossing something that you aren't wearing, but greater things have been done!
Nonetheless, I think you see my point in that having a garter as a keepsake for your wedding day is different than the garter toss ceremony that typically happens during a wedding reception.
For more, be sure to read this on what to do if your scared to do the garter toss and here are some fun garter toss song ideas.
Here’s what I tell every single bride who asks me this: just because you wear a wedding garter doesn’t mean you have to toss it.
Wearing a bridal garter can be a deeply personal, sentimental, or simply stylish choice. Maybe it’s your something blue. Maybe it’s made from your mom’s wedding dress. Or maybe you just saw one that made your heart skip a beat.
The garter toss isn’t a requirement. It’s just one option. Your wedding day should reflect your story, your style, and your comfort.
You can still wear a wedding garter and feel every bit the bride without doing the garter toss. You might wear it under your wedding dress just for you.
You might have it photographed while you're getting ready and then tuck it away to keep forever.
Some brides come to me with family materials, asking for a custom garter made from mom’s lace or grandma’s veil. They want a garter that tells a story — not one that gets thrown across a dance floor.
What I’ve seen over and over again is this: the most cherished wedding garters are the ones that were never tossed. They were kept, loved, and passed down. That’s the true meaning behind the tradition — and you get to define what it looks like.
For more, you might like this article that I wrote on how to have pretty garter pictures when you are not going to do the garter toss.
I think this would be a great time to get into some of the most popular questions that I get asked a lot about wedding garters. From sizing to which leg, people have lots of questions. But, here are the most common one that I get.
Absolutely. Many brides choose to wear a wedding garter as a private, meaningful accessory with no intention of doing a toss. I always tell me brides that your garter is one of the smallest keepsakes from your wedding and it's easy to save and pass down.
Not to make fun of the saving the top of the wedding cake tradition, but have you ever eaten year old cake?? I tried to do this for my wedding and it was gross! (I think there was some user error involved, but still, it wasn't good after a year.
Eat the cake, save the garter, I say!
This is your wedding. You get to decide what feels right. Set boundaries ahead of time and let your planner or band leader or DJ know what’s happening and what’s not.
Your wedding vendors might prompt you and give you the suggestions, but that doesn't mean you need to do anything on their list or in their timeline - they are just offering as a suggestion that you can take or leave.
But, back to expectations - set the boundary for yourself right here and now. Because your garter or your wedding will not be the last time that anyone or life will put expectations on you. You do you, no, always, and forever.
Yes. Some brides opt to do a private garter moment with their partner. Others choose to include their garter in flat-lay detail shots or wear it only for a moment on their wedding morning.
If you're having a bridal garter custom made from your mom's wedding dress or veil, some brides opt for a special private time with their mother too.
Some couples who want to skip the garter toss use it to save time during the wedding reception, opting for maybe a longer cocktail hour, more time at dinner or (my choice!) more time on the dance floor!
For more, be sure to read this on the 10 must have wedding morning photos.
Yes. I specialize in creating custom bridal garters from family materials like your mom's veil or dad’s tie, making it a one-of-a-kind heirloom that you can pass down.
I do offer a wide range of pre-designed garters, but as you've probably guessed by now in your wedding planning journey, it's all about making your wedding special and unique to you. As such, I offer personalizations in your bridal garters heirlooms at all levels from simple color changes to pre-designed wedding garter styles, to adding hand embroider on the inside with your monogram or wedding date, up to the custom designed made from your family materials.
Whether your wedding garter, your wedding or your life - you do you!
There are obviously lots and lots of questions about the wedding garter. From which leg gets the wedding garter, and how high up should I wear my garter, and what are wedding garter sizes and so much more. It's the oldest wedding tradition!
You can check out my full FAQ page or my garter 101 blog series. And, if your questions isn't answered, please reach out and ask away! I'd love to hear from you at info@thegartergirl.com.
Wearing a wedding garter can carry deep meaning even without the toss. For many brides, it’s a nod to tradition, a way to feel more like "the bride", or a keepsake to treasure long after the wedding day.
I’ve designed wedding garters that have honored loved ones who’ve passed, celebrated personal milestones, and carried decades of family history. These wedding garters never left the bride’s leg, and they meant everything.
I've worked with hundreds, maybe even thousands of brides and their families over the years and many get a family wedding garter to be something special in their family, something they can pass down through generations.
There’s no rule that says meaning only comes from public moments. Sometimes the most important memories are the quietest ones.
A wedding garter tucked gently under your wedding dress can say more than any garter toss ever could.
First, know that it’s OK. There’s nothing wrong with skipping the wedding garter toss. It doesn’t make your wedding less traditional or less meaningful.
Make the choice that feels good to you. Then protect that decision by making sure your wedding vendors know — especially your wedding planner, band leader, or wedding DJ.
If someone asks, a simple “We’re not doing that part” is all you need to say. No explanation, justification or anything else.
And then wear your wedding garter with confidence. Wear it because it’s beautiful. Because it’s meaningful. Because it’s yours.
One of the biggest things I hear from brides is that they want their wedding to feel like them, not like someone else's Pinterest board, or worse, like their trendy Instagram feed that everyone else has seen before a million times.
If that’s you, I want you to know you’re not alone.
The best way to make your wedding feel like you is to let go of the “shoulds.” You don’t have to follow every tradition.
Just because it's all over your social media feed(s) doesn't make it right for you, it just makes it popular or trendy. There's a difference.
You don’t have to check every box. You don’t have to please everyone. (Friends, family, soon-to-be family - so many "yeses" to this!)
You just have to choose what matters.
If a wedding garter makes you feel special, wear it. If tossing it makes you cringe, don’t. If you want to include something sentimental, meaningful, and just-for-you, you absolutely can.
Whether it’s a custom wedding garter made from your family’s fabric, a custom embroidered piece with your initials, or a ready-to-ship garter style that makes your heart sing, make the choice that feels right to you.
There’s so much noise in the wedding world. So many voices telling you what you “have to” do.
I’ve worked with thousands of brides and their families, and here’s what I know to be true: the only thing you have to do is what feels right to you.
Let go of the pressure. Take a deep breath. You’re allowed to choose what works for you — and skip the rest.
Sometimes that means not tossing your wedding garter. Sometimes it means writing your own vows or wearing a black bridal dress or not having a first dance.
Whatever it is, if it brings you peace, it’s the right choice.
So, do you have to do the garter toss at your wedding? No. You can wear a wedding garter without doing the garter toss. You can skip the wedding traditions that don’t feel meaningful. You can make choices that reflect your story.
Whether you're searching for do I have to do the garter toss at my wedding, can I wear a garter without doing the garter toss, alternatives to the wedding garter toss, non-traditional garter ideas for modern brides, what to do if I don’t want to toss the garter, wedding garter meaning without the toss, how to make your wedding feel like you, modern wedding traditions to skip, personalized wedding garter without toss tradition, or stress-free wedding advice for brides — the answer is always the same: your wedding, your rules.
If you’re looking for a wedding garter that feels meaningful, stylish, and totally you, I’m here to help. Whether it’s a couture garter heirloom, a last-minute find, or a custom wedding keepsake made from family materials, I hand-make every single bridal garter with intention and care.
Explore the full collection or start your custom design journey here: thegartergirl.com
Your wedding day should feel like you. And I promise, it will.
