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Wedding dress shopping is one of those wedding planning experiences you think you know how it’s going to go. Ahead is a little bit of wedding planning advice for my bridal fashion loving brides-to-be, I’m sharing 15 things no one tells you about wedding dress shopping, so you’ll know what to expect before you walk into your first bridal appointment.
Shop something blue wedding garter heirlooms.
You’ll make a bridal appointment. Try on a bunch of gorgeous wedding dresses. Stand on the little platform. Maybe drink some champagne. Everyone cries. You say “YES!” Done.
Well... maybe.
The truth is that shopping for a wedding dress is VERY different from shopping for pretty much anything else you’ll ever wear. And there are a few things I wish every bride knew before walking into her first bridal shop.
After more than 20 years in the wedding industry here at The Garter Girl, working with thousands of brides and hand making wedding garters and bridal heirlooms to go with all kinds of gorgeous wedding dresses, I’ve heard A LOT about what happens before, during and after a bride finally finds THE dress.
So, before you start wedding dress shopping, here are 15 things no one tells you... but I will!
The wedding dress you think you want before you start shopping might be completely different from the one you fall in love with once you start trying dresses on.
You might think you you know.
Maybe your Pinterest board is filled with strapless wedding dresses. Maybe you've been saving lace A-line bridal gowns for six months. Maybe you've known since you were 12 that you want a giant ball gown.
That's all great inspiration.
But until you actually put wedding dresses on your body, you don't really know.
In fact, I've heard from bride after bride over the years who walked into a bridal shop absolutely certain she wanted one thing and walked out having fallen in love with something completely different.
Use your inspiration as a starting point, not a set of rules.
You do not need to define your bridal style or know exactly what kind of wedding dress you’re looking for before your first bridal appointment.
Romantic bride. Classic bride. Modern bride. Boho bride. Minimalist bride.
If one of those descriptions helps you explain what you love, great.
But you don't need to figure out which bridal-style box you fit into before you can go wedding dress shopping.
You can like a sleek wedding dress AND a dramatic veil. You can have a traditional wedding and wear a modern bridal gown. You can get married on the beach and wear a ball gown if that's what makes you happy.
Your wedding venue isn't wearing the dress.
YOU ARE.
Most of the wedding dresses you try on at a bridal shop are sample gowns, which means there’s a very good chance they won’t fit you perfectly.
This fact sometimes catches brides off guard.
Most wedding dresses hanging in a bridal shop are sample gowns. They're there so brides can try the style before ordering their own dress.
That means the sample might be too big. It might be too small. Your bridal stylist might be clipping it, holding it or using a panel so you can get an idea of how the wedding dress will look when it actually fits.
Don't expect every sample dress to look like it was made for your body the second you step into it.
That's not the point of the appointment.
You're trying to see the possibilities.
Shop this Wedding Dress Shopping Invitation made by Montgomery and Co LLC →
Wedding dress sizing can be very different from the clothing size you normally wear, so don’t be surprised if your bridal gown size is a larger number than you expected.
Bridal sizing can be VERY different from the size you normally buy.
So if you're usually one size and your bridal stylist recommends ordering your wedding dress in a larger number, please don't let that number ruin your experience.
The number is information your bridal shop needs to order the right dress. That's it.
Your wedding dress size isn't a grade.
One of the best things you can do while wedding dress shopping is try on a few bridal gowns your stylist recommends, even if you would NEVER have picked them yourself.
TRY IT ON.
Seriously.
You don't have to buy it. You don't even have to like it.
But your bridal stylist spends all day looking at wedding dresses on actual brides. She knows how the dresses fit, move and look outside of the perfectly styled designer photographs you've been saving.
If she says, “I know this isn't what you asked for, but trust me...”
Give her a chance.
You might still hate it.
Or it might be THE dress.
Bringing a big group to your wedding dress shopping appointment also means bringing a lot more opinions into what is ultimately YOUR decision.
Bringing everyone you love wedding dress shopping sounds fun.
Until everyone you love has an opinion.
One person loves the lace. Someone else hates lace. Your mom wants you in a ball gown. Your sister loved dress #2. Your friend thinks you should keep looking.
Meanwhile, you're standing there trying to remember whether YOU even liked the dress.
Choose your wedding dress shopping crew carefully.
The best person to bring isn't necessarily the person with the best fashion sense. It's the person who can look at you and say, “But how do YOU feel in it?”
Here's a little extra tip for you... Before inviting everyone, check the bridal shop's guest policy. Many bridal boutiques have limits on how many people you can bring to your wedding dress appointment.
Shop this Bride Hair Clip made by Handsome Ink Studio →
Not every bride cries when she finds her wedding dress, and you absolutely do not need a huge emotional “yes to the dress” moment to know you’ve found the one.
TV has really done a number on us with this one.
Finding your wedding dress doesn't have to involve tears, screaming, champagne popping and your mother dramatically declaring that this is THE ONE.
Some brides cry. Some don't. Some brides have a huge emotional moment. Others look in the mirror and simply think, “Yep. This is it.”
There is no correct emotional response to finding your wedding dress.
You don't need tears to prove you love it.
You can look absolutely gorgeous in a wedding dress, appreciate everything about it and still know that it isn’t YOUR dress.
This is a big one.
You are going to try on beautiful dresses.
Probably LOTS of beautiful dresses.
You may even try on a wedding dress that looks incredible on you...and still not want to wear it.
That's OK.
The question isn't just: “Does this dress look good on me?”
It's: “Do I want THIS to be my wedding dress?”
Those are two very different questions.
Trying on more wedding dresses doesn’t necessarily make it easier to find THE dress and, at some point, having too many choices can make the decision even harder.
There comes a point where more options are just...more options.
If you've found a wedding dress you love, you don't have to keep shopping because you only went to one bridal shop or because you only tried on eight dresses.
There's no minimum number of wedding dresses you have to try before you're officially allowed to say “yes.”
And trying on another 47 dresses doesn't guarantee you'll find something you love more.
Sometimes it just makes you forget why you loved the first one.
Shop this Off The Shoulder Bridal Gown made by ILEN Wedding Dress →
Your wedding dress isn’t the only bridal fashion expense to plan for, so make sure your budget leaves room for alterations, shoes, accessories, beauty and anything else you want to wear.
The number you've set aside for bridal fashion shouldn't necessarily be the maximum amount you can spend on the wedding dress hanging on the rack.
You may also have alterations, shoes, a veil, jewelry, undergarments, wedding-day accessories and other bridal fashion expenses to consider.
And that's before we even talk about all those other wedding events you may or may not be dressing for.
This is one of the biggest reasons I created my Bridal Fashion Fix. I want brides thinking about the WHOLE bridal fashion budget instead of spending everything on the wedding dress and realizing later that they forgot about everything else.
Spend on what matters to you. Skip what doesn't.
But know what you're spending before it all starts adding up.
Finding your wedding dress doesn’t mean you have to choose your veil, wedding shoes, jewelry and every other bridal accessory before you leave the bridal shop.
You found the wedding dress! YAY!
Now you need the veil! And earrings! And shoes! And shapewear! And hair accessories! And...
No. You don't necessarily have to decide everything today.
Ask your bridal shop if anything you're considering has a long order time or needs to be purchased with the dress. If it doesn't, give yourself permission to think.
Once you've chosen THE dress, you can start building the rest of your wedding-day look around something you already know you love.
How you actually FEEL wearing a wedding dress matters just as much as how the bridal gown looks in the mirror or photographs.
Photos matter. Of course they do.
But you're not buying a wedding dress solely for a photograph.
You're going to stand in it. Walk in it. Hug people in it. Sit down in it. Dance in it. Wear it for HOURS.
So while you're standing on that bridal-shop platform looking at yourself in the mirror, pay attention to more than how the dress photographs.
That's information, too.
Shop this Personalized Wedding Dress Garment Bag made by J and J Modern Designs →
Once you say “yes” to your wedding dress, there are still a few important questions to ask the bridal shop before you celebrate and head out the door.
Before you leave the bridal shop floating on your just-found-my-wedding-dress cloud, get the practical details.
Ask when your wedding dress is expected to arrive. Find out when the remaining balance is due. Ask how alterations work and when you should schedule them. Find out whether the bridal shop stores your dress or if you'll take it home.
And make sure you understand what happens when the dress arrives.
Finding the dress is a BIG moment.
But you still need to know what happens next.
Once you’ve bought your wedding dress, give yourself permission to STOP shopping for wedding dresses and start getting excited about the one you chose.
This might be one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
STOP LOOKING.
New wedding dresses will come out. You'll see gorgeous bridal gowns on Instagram.Pinterest will happily show you another 7,000 dresses you could have bought.
You already chose yours.
If you keep shopping after you've bought your wedding dress, you're giving yourself endless opportunities to second-guess a decision you were perfectly happy with when you made it.
I've written an entire guide about what to do if you're second-guessing your wedding dress because yes, this really does happen.
Save yourself the spiral. You said “yes.”
Now go enjoy being excited about YOUR dress.
Wedding dress shopping isn’t about finding the single “best” bridal gown out of every dress that exists; it’s about finding the wedding dress that YOU want to wear.
There is no objectively perfect wedding dress waiting somewhere for you to find it.
And I actually think that's good news.
Your job isn't to evaluate every wedding dress in existence until you've mathematically determined which one is superior.
Your job is to find a dress that YOU love wearing.
And you don't need everyone in the room to agree. You need to want to wear it.
That's the whole point.
Shop this Custom Embroidered Bridal Hanger made by Efdali Atelier →
If there's one thing I want you to take away from all of this, it's that you don't need to have wedding dress shopping completely figured out before you go.
Do a little research. Know your budget. Save some wedding dress inspiration. Choose your shopping crew carefully.
Then go to the bridal shop and TRY THINGS ON.
Listen to your stylist. Pay attention to how you feel. Be willing to be surprised.
You might find exactly the wedding dress you've been picturing all along.
Or you might fall completely in love with the one you never saw coming.
That's part of the fun.
Finding your wedding dress is a pretty big piece of the bridal fashion puzzle...but it's definitely not the only piece.
The Bridal Fashion Fix helps you plan everything from wedding dress shopping and alterations to accessories, beauty, all those other wedding looks and your bridal fashion budget.
You'll get my best bridal fashion advice, planning tools, the BFF Budget & Spending Tracker and a customizable Bridal Look Book to help you see all those gorgeous looks come together.
Your wedding garter might be hidden underneath your dress, but that doesn't mean it can't be one of the most special pieces of your wedding-day look.
I've been hand making wedding garters and bridal heirlooms for brides since 2004, including custom wedding garters created from mothers' and grandmothers' wedding dresses, veils and other family materials.
Whether you're looking for your something blue, a wedding keepsake or a way to carry a little piece of your family history with you, I'd love to make something special for you.
